Image used by Permission of Chazark Holmes Wilder

I recently received an email from Chazark Wilder letting me know he has posted a blog titled “Dear Midwest Christian Outreach (Not really a letter though!)” that may be of interest to me, and reminded me of a contact we had about 17-18 years ago. His name was Reggie, and he has recently changed it to Chazark. I appreciated the heads-up email and let him know I would read it. I appreciated his writing style and kind spirit as he described his journey from Christian groups and practices to other non-Christian religious groups. As I recall, he was someone who asked questions, and his blog outlines his process of essentially deconstructing his faith. He now describes himself as an apatheist. It is sort of like being a disinterested agnostic. Wikipedia explains “Apatheism”:

It is more of an attitude rather than a belief, claim, or belief system. The term was coined by Canadian sociologist Stuart Johnson.

An apatheist is someone who is not interested in accepting or rejecting any claims that gods do exist or do not exist. The existence of a god or gods is not rejected but may be designated irrelevant.

As I read through “Dear Midwest Christian Outreach (Not really a letter though!),”  I thought of a friend – Dani – that I met while on a plane to Israel in 1997. She tells her story in “Dani Does Church.” She, too, had been someone who kept asking questions, which, in her experience, many churches had rather discouraged. As a result, she eventually left Christianity and was:

introduced to the Urantia book. It’s not for a lazy searcher and, like all cult materials, it has truth mixed with error. I loved the book. Like all of the people who read it, I commented, “If this isn’t the way it is, it’s the way it should be.” I prayed as I read it, “Lord, I’m looking for the truth. If this book is a lie, show me the falseness.”

Dani’s life took a bit of a different turn, but we will let her describe it:

In April of 1997, I was traveling to Israel on a plane and randomly seated next to Don Veinot, who is the president of Midwest Christian Outreach. For ten hours on the plane and ten days in Israel, I stalked Don for information and took notes on placemats! He introduced me to apologetics, the concept of world views, and provided me with an outline that put belief systems into categories-a way to nail down the TRUTH! He never flinched.

I came home a changed and confident person. I was so excited to know about Christ and His work! I could not wait to share this newfound information, resources, and books about the LIVING GOD we serve. The God who seeks us, who loves us, who died for us who is omnipotent, omnipresent and Who can arrange seating on planes and answers our prayers for wisdom. WOW!

Back to Chazark, who tells a story of involvement in many churches and church organizations over his early years and even as he eventually “began questioning his motivation and pride in his ‘Christian identity’ while still affirming Christian beliefs.”

There is no question that he lived in what we might call a sort of Christian culturalism, which was formational, but perhaps not informational. By that, we mean he may have known how to behave and what was to be believed, but were the “whys of the faith” communicated to him in an understandable way, or, like Dani, were his questions discouraged? “Belief without question” is certainly the case in Gothardism, which Chazark had been involved with. Very often, when we meet with those who had been involved with Gothard and consequently “left the faith,” we almost always begin by pointing out that “Just because God and Gothard both begin with ‘Go’ and end with ‘d,’ they are not the same.” If we ask someone who has grown up in or was involved with unquestionable legalisim to describe the god they are rejecting, we too would likely reject that god. The description rarely reflects the God of Scripture and most often “looks like” the leader of the legalistic church or cult group they have been part of. In his article, Chazark alludes to a young woman, Heidi, whom we mentioned in our Prayvine email, who is also a former Gothardite. In her case she has been able to make the separation between God and Gothard and is growing in the faith. She has great questions, and some of which surface as she is reaching out to Mormon missionaries and Jehovah’s Witnesses. She emails once or twice a week, or perhaps calls with new questions, and has found similarities between her upbringing and that of the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons she speaks with in these two groups. Questioning is discouraged, and being too curious could lead to being labeled a divisive person, perhaps a heretic. The pressure by the leadership to not question but to meekly assent to whatever is taught is fairly great until the day someone says, “I have had enough” and leaves, most often to atheism, agnosticism, apatheism, or perhaps Wicca, witchcraft, Druidism, or Satanism. Each one of these religious offerings frees you to create a belief system that fits you and with rituals you adopt or design for yourself. As we met with the Director of Paganicon 2025 last year to respond to questions as to why we attended, one of the important things she said was that 80% of those who attended Paganicon have experienced “spiritual trauma” and are in “recovery from Christianity.” We don’t know that they have actual statistics, but that is likely the case.

The Christian Post article, “Is the Church really seeing a revival in attendance among Gen Z?” points out that “62% of U.S. adults identify as Christian.” But, does that mean they understand the faith? It seems questionable since, “Only 6% of self-professed Christians hold biblical worldview amid increasing syncretism in the US: survey.” We cannot speak to the experiences of Chazark since all we know at this point is the brief bit of history he described in his short blog post, but statistically, he is not alone, since 94% of professed Christians are increasingly syncretistic.

All of this does raise another question, though. Is this “wait and see” strategy the best way to handle uncertainty regarding the existence or non-existence of God? Probably not, we would think. Solomon came up against that dilemma and recorded his questions and conclusions in the book of Ecclesiastes. He started from the standpoint of an atheist. Does life have any meaning or purpose without God?

And I applied my heart to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven. It is an unhappy business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind (Ecclesiastes 1:13-14)

To paraphrase Solomon in the last statement above, Life is hard. Like Chazark, Solomon outlined his search, which in Solomon’s case was a search about the possibility of meaning, purpose, and destiny, even accepting the difficulties of life – if there is no god. His conclusion is that riches, entertainment, sex, and fame in this short life are all meaningless if none of these good things, nor even their memory, will live on after death.

But he who is joined with all the living has hope, for a living dog is better than a dead lion. (Ecclesiastes 9:4)

Solomon’s meaning is this: If there is nothing beyond this life, then it is far better to be a living, breathing dog than a non-breathing hopeless “king of the beasts.”

Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, “I have no pleasure in them.” (Ecclesiastes 12:1)

And make this decision while you are a younger person, before old age comes and you are no longer living your best life on Earth. Your pains and life’s troubles and losses in age may urge you to just let go. And yet, though he may think it better to just let go and end current troubles, Solomon states that man is going somewhere forever, even as people mourn his passing, which Solomon says will be his eternal home.

because man is going to his eternal home, and the mourners go about the streets (Ecclesiastes 12:5)

As we point out in The “Worldview Gamble” on Eternity, you are truly betting your eternal life with your decision. Blaise Pascal, a 17th-century philosopher and Christian, developed a simple challenge which is called Pascal’s Wager. It goes like this:

Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is. Let us estimate these two chances. If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He is.

What he meant is clear enough. If you believe in God and accept His gift of salvation, you lose NOTHING if you are wrong. Because, of course, YOU will no longer exist to be disappointed. On the other hand, if you have chosen Apatheism, or a similar path, and God does exist, you’ve essentially bet on annihilation rather than belief in God unto salvation, and you lose everything, yet you will live eternally and suffer endlessly. Make your choice, place your wager, and please consider that your eternal destiny is at stake, so choose wisely.Ω

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